


A Love Like No Other

by TheXtremeBass



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-02-03 05:19:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheXtremeBass/pseuds/TheXtremeBass
Summary: Sarah struggles with her feelings, and wins.





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to move this fic to it's own piece because I got a wild hair and needed to follow it.
> 
> As usual, I own nothing.
> 
> Please read and review! I have at least one more chapter coming, which will warrant the mature rating, so if you aren't into that, then leave now.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

Sarah jolted out of a heavy sleep, shading her eyes in an onslaught of light.

“Mom?”

She squinted, slowly recognizing Kira’s outline silhouetted in her bedroom doorway, the stuffed turtle Felix had won for her at the fair clenched tightly to her stomach.

“Come ‘er baby” Sarah croaked, rolling onto her back and holding the covers open for Kira to crawl under. Kira hopped up on the mattress and snuggled in, settling facing her mom.

Sarah reached out and stroked her daughter’s head, tucking stray hairs behind her tiny ears, “Another nightmare, Monkey?” She whispered, searching Kira’s face for the telltale signs of unease, but even before her daughter shook her head in a silent ‘no’, Sarah knew it was something else bothering her.

Sarah shifted her weight onto her arm, rising slightly from the mattress and drawing Kira’s eye, “What is it, Kira?” 

Kira picked absently at a stray thread on the sheets, uncertain. “I’m not sure, I was dreaming...I heard arguing-” She trailed off, chewing on her lip.

“It’s okay baby, go on” Sarah encouraged.

Kira’s brow furrowed heavily, “Auntie Cosima is...hurting.” 

Sarah paused, her breathing staying steady only for the multitudes of practice the last years had afforded her. With her heart clawing up her throat, Sarah pulled Kira close, rubbing her back in as soothing a pattern as she could manage while her neurons fired. 

‘ _Cosima…_ ’

“Hey, baby, just stay here for a minute, okay? I’m going to go and call Auntie Cos” Kira nodded her head, curling fully around her stuffed turtle as Sarah scooted out of bed and grabbed her phone, pulling her hair over her shoulder as she padded out into the hallway and into the living room. Her fingers shook as she pressed the speed-dial, but with a couple inches of January snow glistening on the street outside, she told herself it was just the chill. 

The phone rang...and rang...and rang; “Hello! This is Cosima, leave a message-”

Sarah hung up; she rose and paced the wooden floor, touched the far wall, leaned against it, exhaled heavily; she tapped her phone against the wall, chewing hard on her lip. With a growl, she clicked the speed dial again.

“Hello! This is Cosima-”

Sarah growled, dropped her phone on the coffee table, threaded her hands into her sleep-mussed hair. She couldn’t panic, there weren’t any threats anymore, they were safe, Cosima was safe wherever her and Delphine were this week; they were scheduled to visit again, in fact, next month.   
Nonetheless, her heart pounded. Sitting on the couch, she glanced at the mantel where her and Fe had mounted Siobhan’s shotgun. Her fingers twitched. She couldn’t panic.

“Mom? She’s coming home.”

Sarah jumped, Kira’s stockinged feet muffling her approach.

“What baby?” Sarah gasped, holding out her shaking arms to draw her daughter into her lap.

“Auntie Cosima, she’s coming home, I can feel her.”

Before Sarah could straighten out Kira’s meaning, her phone buzzed loudly on the coffee table, nearly vibrating off the edge before Sarah managed to grab it, shifting Kira in her lap to bring it to her ear.

“Cos?!” Her voice was high, strained. Kira turned into her, nuzzling into her neck for warmth. 

“Hey Sarah, uh, I’m sorry if I woke you but-” Cosima’s voice broke, barely, but Sarah heard it, and her chest ached, “-I just got off a plane. I’m hoping to grab a taxi to your house? I mean, I can go to Fe’s…”

“No, no Cos. Of course you can come here. I’ll, I’ll put the kettle on, okay?” Sarah rocked her daughter lightly, her eyes fluttering closed with the softening of her pulse; Cosima’s voice sounded as shaky as her own hands were, the edges rough with something raw and ripped open, but it was her voice. 

On the other end of the line, Cosima choked out a wet laugh that even Kira would have detected the relief in. “Okay, Sarah, I’ll-I’ll be there soon.”

And just like that, she hung up. Sarah exhaled loudly through pursed lips and dropped the phone back onto the coffee table. Kira was heavy in her arms, fast asleep as only a child can be, and Sarah gently grabbed the knitted blanket Sioban always kept draped over the couch’s back and covered them both, settling further into the cushions and resting her head against the rest. Her eyes flickered again to the shotgun over the mantel, glorious and solid in the weak morning light, before drifting closed. Just for a minute.

‘ _She's coming home_ ’ Sarah smiled.

An hour and a half later Cosima found the two of them there, fast asleep. Grinning through red-rimmed eyes, she dropped her bags in the hall and tiptoed into the kitchen to put on the kettle.


	2. Awaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I quite like how this chapter turned out. There is a bit of a soundtrack, at least to the first part, so here are the songs that I listened to while I wrote it:
> 
> "Only Girl (In The World)" - Rhianna (Quoted in text)  
> "Into You" - Ariana Grande
> 
> That, by the way, does not in any way sum up by general music choices.
> 
> As usual, I own nothing and please read and review! At least one more chapter coming.

Sarah tossed back another shot and rolled her neck in bliss as the whiskey bloomed in her stomach, as hot and heavy as the atmosphere around her. Felix had dragged her and Cosima out to his favorite club, a sleazy dance joint in the basement of a leather shop on the strip; Cosima and Felix were somewhere in the mess of bodies behind her, but Sarah was still tanking up.

Dancing did not come easy to her, but drinking did, and she always felt like getting fucked up when Cosima visited. This time was different though; Delphine was nowhere in sight and obviously a taboo subject, and Felix had taken one look at Cosima’s raw eyes and smudged eyeliner and insisted on going out. 

So here they were, and here Sarah was, knocking back shots at the bar. Perfect.

Sarah turned, leaning her back against the bar to survey the crowd; the lights were down low and the music loud enough to feel in her chest, like a heartbeat. Her vision blurred, tilted a bit, and she shook her head, running her hands through her hair and pulling it over her shoulder, considering getting another shot, considering going outside to smoke a cigarette, considering just leaving all together, but then some people shifted on the dance floor and there _She_ was. 

Cosima danced like no one Sarah had ever met, and the sight made her wonder if anyone else actually could dance. She moved in ways that tore at Sarah’s gut, so painful she couldn’t breathe and yet she couldn’t take her eyes off her. Years ago she had danced with Cosima in the middle of Fe’s loft, but times were...different, then.

Sarah was pretty sure she could compel the very gods themselves, dancing as she was now, completely healthy and strong, drunk on much more than wine and losing herself in the music. 

Sarah’s skin burned.

The DJ merged into the next song, riding the wave seamlessly, and Cosima opened her eyes to find Sarah staring at her; Cosima grinned, the roll of her hips silky smooth.

She was caught, pinned under Cosima’s gaze like a butterfly under glass. The base thumped along with the pulse hammering in her throat;

‘ _I want you to love me, like I’m a hot ride-_ ”

Sarah reached behind her, tapping the bartop solidly to attract the bartender’s attention; without looking, she took the proffered shot and downed it. 

“ _Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world_  
_Like i’m the only one that you’ll ever love_  
_Like I’m the only one that knows your heart_  
_Like I’m the only one that’s in command_  
_Like I’m the only one that understands_  
_How to make you feel like a man”_

Oh fucking hell.

“You, my dear, look like a bitch in heat.”

Sarah spun to find Felix standing next to her, a blonde sweaty man with a crew cut looming over his left shoulder.

“I would love to stay and watch you torture yourself Sarah, but I’m going to go back to my flat with Brodus here and do unspeakable things to his abs.” Felix turned to leave, but shot a quick “Have fun, sis!” over his shoulder, dragging Brodus with him by the hand. 

Sarah’s cheeks were flushed, the combination of alcohol and the unusually noticeable tightness of her jeans making her head spin gently with images that she hadn’t let herself seriously visit since, well, ever really. There were always reasons, so many excuses both intensely real and probably imaginary; but now...now there were literally just her, Cosima, and half a decade of committed intimacy like Sarah had never allowed herself before from family, friends, or lovers alike.

It was a lot to handle.

~

Hours later, Sarah awoke to the sound of retching in the bathroom across the hall; before she fully registered the sound, she was on her feet and stumbling through the door, blinking painfully in the severe bathroom light. Cosima was leaning heavily on the toilet, heaving and coughing miserably while she rid herself of the immense amount of gin she consumed at the club. Automatically, Sarah got down on the tile behind her, wrapping one arm around Cosima’s shoulders and the other around her hips, holding her shaking body steady, taking the weight from her; Cosima coughed…

_She felt like she hadn’t slept for days; she dozed in between Cosima’s fits, always listening for the next breath to bubble it’s way past her lips, the dark brown stains on Cosima’s sleeves a matching set with the ones on Sarah’s, and the ones on the back of her shirt where she had cradled Cosima’s head to her neck. She could breath better, propped up; so Sarah had held her, tended to her, carried her, whispered to her, pleaded with her, awoken to her in a way that not even motherhood had drawn from her; unbeknownst to her, she had committed, there on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, bracing a body too weak to hold itself._

“What is that you’re humming? I remember it from somewhere.” Cosima croaked, her forehead resting on the cool toilet seat; a clammy hand crept down and clasped Sarah’s where it wound around her hips.

Sarah, caught with her walls down, responded for once with openness; “It’s-it’s something Siobhan used to sing to Fe and I, when we were scared.”

Her body felt different now, full and strong, like if she let go everything wouldn’t turn to dust. But did that portend that she needed to? What if there were other reasons to hold Cosima like this.

Cosima nodded, squeezing Sarah’s hand against her stomach, though still not moving from the vicinity of the toilet bowl.

“And I used to hum it to you, when you were sick.” Sarah mumbled, her cheek pressed to the back of Cosima’s sleep shirt, eyes closed against the light.

Cosima held her breath for the barest sliver of a second, but Sarah felt it, wrapped around the scientist as she was; if she had been in a different position, she would have seen that Cosima was smiling.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and back into bed, yeah?” Sarah detached and helped Cosima slowly to her feet, watched as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. Sarah clicked off the bathroom light, throwing them both into shadow as they padded into the hall, but Cosima caught Sarah’s hand just as she turned back towards her bedroom door and pulled her into a warm hug.

“Thank you, Sarah.” Cosima whispered into Sarah’s neck, sending tiny shivers down Sarah’s spine as they swayed gently in the dark. “And if you think I’m going back to Felix’s old room, then you’re wrong.” Sarah paused, her breath catching in her throat as a blush rose unseen up her chest, climbing towards her cheeks. “I miss you holding me.”

Sarah exhaled, let her head fall back and rumbled low in her throat, the vibration making Cosima grin. “Come on then, Geek Monkey.” 

Sarah took her hand.


	3. Origin of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for some reason I hadn't realized that I hadn't posted this! Whoops!
> 
> Please read and review! I sure enjoyed writing this one! Listen to "The Origin of Love" from Hedwig and the Angry Inch for more detail.  
>  I own nothing.

Sarah awoke like The Nautilus rising from the ocean depths: heavy and resistant, every movement accompanied by the groans of abused machinery (or, in Sarah’s case, abused flesh.) One eye popped open, then the other, as her arms emerged from twisted sheets and stretched carefully. 

“Oh! Hey there.” Cosima swam into focus as she stepped up close to the bed, smiling widely with her makeup-less eyes scrunched up in a blind squint; a towel wrapped around her middle, water droplets still glistening on her flushed skin.

Sarah groaned and rolled onto her back, shielding her eyes from the light though it couldn’t be more than 6AM. “God, why are you up Cos?”

Cosima chuckled, “Oh, this is all an illusion, I’m not actually vertical or talking to you.” She turned her back and dropped her towel, quickly and unabashedly pulling on sweatpants and searching for a clean tank top; Sarah’s eyes sprang wide. Peeking out from under her arm at Cosima’s bare back she studied the large intricate tree of life tattooed between Cosima’s shoulder blades and followed the roots down to where they disappeared into her waistband. “I just had to get all that alcohol sweat off of me.” Cosima said distractedly, still searching for a shirt; in her haste, Sarah caught glimpses of her breasts, heavier and larger than Sarah’s own, and her heart raced. The previous night was a bit fuzzy, the flashing lights and powerfully loud music in the club mingling with impossible feel of Cosima’s hips in her palms, the swell of her ass pressed against Sarah’s belt buckle, the scent of her dreds, feeling completely lost in the push of bodies on all sides of them, lost in one another, lost in the beat... 

Sarah cleared her throat, grimacing at the thick morning-after sludge, and burrowed further into the sheets to hide her intense blush, “You can grab one of my shirts, Cos, in the middle drawer.” 

“God thank you,” Cosima grabbed a grey top and pulled it on, gathering her dreds over her shoulder as she padded back towards Sarah’s bed, “Here, I got these for you.” 

Sarah cracked open her eyes again to find a glass of water and two Aspirin held out to her. Gratefully she propped herself up and took the Aspirin, gulping down the water with a rumble of gratitude.

Cosima dove back into bed, settling on her back with barely an inch of crackling heat between them; they weren’t touching, quite, but Sarah could feel the beat of Cosima’s heart reverberating across the space. Could Cosima feel her own hammering away in her chest?

Heat rose up Sarah’s skin, engulfing her from head to toe as the smell of the scientist hit her nose; clean, hints of myrrh and pine, the musk of old joints, and a final low note of Sarah’s own body wash from the shower.

“Have you heard of Aristophane’s speech from Plato’s Symposium? On the origin of love?” Cosima was staring at the ceiling, her voice a little bit cracked from the night before.

Sarah gulped, pushing it all down - down - down; the world snapping back into focus from a pinpoint study of the feel of Cosima’s arm hair touching hers. “Huh? Oh, definitely not Cos. Missed that class too.” Sarah smiled weakly, attempting to cover her reddened cheeks with childlike eye rubbing.

Cosima grinned; “So, like, Aristophane hypothesized that long long ago, when the Earth was very young and the God’s still walked around and fucked with everything, people were shaped different, like two people stuck together back-to-back,” Cosima’s arms rose from the sheets, bringing the backs of her hands together and wiggling her fingers to demonstrate; “And there were three kinds of people: the children of the sun were two men, the children of the moon were a man and a woman, and the children of the earth were two women.”

Sarah’s brow wrinkled, listening intently, watching the curve of Cosima’s fingers dancing in the weak morning sun.

“And Plato theorized that these people were whole, and therefore didn’t know anything about love, or longing.”

Sarah shifted onto her side to face Cosima, though the scientist wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“But the Gods, they took notice because we were powerful and they didn’t like that. So Zeus took his lightning bolts and threw them down on the people and there was this huge storm, with fire and lightning and rocks falling from the sky, and we were all split in two.”

Sarah watched, mesmerized, as Cosima’s hands danced, spinning the story until Sarah could almost see the fleeing figures in the shadows on the wall.

“And then this enormous flood came and washed all of the people away from one another, scattering us across the world so we could spend our lives trying to find our missing half.” Cosima fell silent, her hands returning to the blankets to fold over her chest, but her eyes finally strayed to Sarah’s, where they locked, bodies tense, silently searching.

“What happened, Cos, between you and Delphine?” Sarah whispered, unmoving.

Cosima shifted, weariness springing to her features like a sharp pain. “Guess I just found that distrust wasn’t actually a basis for love.”

They locked eyes again.

“So, yer done? You and Delphine?”

Cosima nodded, “Yep.”

Stillness, except for the barest twitch of a muscle in Sarah’s hand, her fingers grazing the skin of Cosima’s wrist.

Both felt the jolt.

“Why did you come here, Cos?” The question was a mumble, the words rolling out of Sarah’s chest like marble’s from a bag.

Cosima swallowed, barely breathing, “Trust.” The word’s size belide its weight.

Sarah felt one of Cosima’s fingers flex, skin coming into full contact, the digit curling tightly around Sarah’s ring finger. “Sarah-” Cosima murmured, her eyes glued to Sarah’s lips, “Please.”

Sarah inhaled shakily, the magma-rich heat in her belly dropping, wriggling like eels in a barrel, and she leaned in, imagining that they had been leading up to this the whole time, that the space closing between their lips had in fact been incrementally decreasing since the night Sarah had barged into Alison’s living room and fallen down the rabbit hole; they were as inevitable as a glacier slipping down a mountain, two halves of the same god damned whole. 

That first kiss was gentle, except that is for the strain of their bodies, arching into each other like magnets vibrating nanometers away from contact; Cosima’s hands clung to the sheets, toes curled and calves shaking under the quilt. As for Sarah, her core had gone liquid, the slipperiness between her thighs unfamiliar in its unabashed desire; she hadn’t ever been shy about sharing her body with others, men or women, but there had always been a part of herself held in reserve, kept separate. It crossed her mind as she pushed Cosima back into the sheets, tangling one hand with the scientists and the other in her dreds, that somehow the floodgates had been breached, and she was woefully unprepared for the assault as Cosima deftly flipped her onto her back, the dappled morning sun highlighting the scientists blinding smirk. 

“I-” Cosima murmured, running her hands down Sarah’s sides to her sweatpant-clad thighs; she spread them, firmly. 

“Have wanted this-” Cosima slithered up Sarah’s body, purposefully dragging her breasts, then her belly and hips against Sarah’s aching sex; Sarah saw stars, her vision blurring from the tautness of her belly, the constriction on her lungs only allowing her tiny sips of air.

“-Since the first time I heard my name on your lips.” Cosima closed in on her, capturing Sarah’s lips in a kiss that drove them both into the depths; Sarah’s thighs pulled wide, trembling around Cosima’s hips in a primal invitation that she knew had never been given so willingly. 

Cosima growled, biting hard on Sarah’s lip as the scientist felt Sarah give to her. Cupping Sarah’s hip in her hand, she pulled the other woman into her, their hips grinding together, “I need you” She moaned against Sarah’s throat, intoxicated by the heat of Sarah’s sex, the spicy musk of her body, the sounds spilling from her lips, and the sickening strain of her own arousal. 

Sarah whimpered, and Cosima’s head spun, her world fracturing and rebuilding in their scramble to remove clothing, shirts and pants spilling onto the floor as their skin finally touched, their bodies melding back together as Cosima ground her hips against Sarah, feeling the slickness between their bodies, her stomach nearly nauseous with how badly she needed.

And oh, did she take it. Sarah was already nearly there when Cosima’s fingers found her, swirling briefly around her clit before pushing insistently at her shivering entrance; Sarah’s back instantly arched, her sex pulling on Cosima’s fingers, shaking, her breaths coming in pants.

“Cos-” Sarah choked, and Cosima felt the punks’ insides turn to liquid, every twitch and pulse constricting Cosima’s chest until she felt like she would burst along with her, an all consuming fire washing over the scientists skin until finding release was the only option. With Sarah still riding her aftershocks, Cosima pulled out and gathered Sarah tight to her, her teeth buried in the punks’ neck as she rutted into her, once, twice, the third time spilling her over into a white-hot release that pulled expletives from her lips like rain on parched earth, Sarah’s arms wrapped tight around her back, her name whispered in her ear like a call from the heavens.


End file.
